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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26875309">Smile</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Idiots in Love, M/M, Producer Lee Felix, Soft Lee Felix (Stray Kids), The Author Regrets Nothing, angst( if you squint), complete fluff, just pure fluff, mostly fluff tho, slight angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:49:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,097</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26875309</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>19-year-old Lee YongBok smiles at CB97, from his seat at the very back at the stadium 3rachas performing at. He smiles a charismatic, charming smile back; not at YongBok, but toward the crowd in general.</p><p>24-year-old Lee Felix smiles at the same bang chan from across the room, he smiles back a sleepy, soft smile; this one is for Felix and Felix only</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bang Chan/Lee Felix</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Smile</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>19-year-old Lee YongBok smiles at CB97, from his seat at the very back at the stadium 3rachas performing at. He's 100% sure Chris hasn't noticed, for many reasons, mainly-He's at the very back, so far back that he has to squint to see the three figures on stage; he settles for watching the large screen. </p><p>But he's here, he's here and watching his idols, his inspirations, and these were the tickets which were cheap enough for him and his sister to afford without completely breaking their bank ( so he really can't complain).</p><p>Chris smiles back though, not at Felix; of course, but at the crowd in general. </p><p>Chris knows that back in Korea 3RACHA could just be considered a relatively small idol group, it's understandable actually. People in Korea prefer more conventional music, instead of the more experimental semi punk rock scene that they have going on. </p><p>But when they go on international tours; it reminds Chris of how many people his music caters too. It's crazy to think that all these people enjoy their music, enough for them to pay a slightly hefty fee to see them perform in person. It's the same music that they've been losing sleep over, the same music that they produce at ungodly hours of the night huddled together trying (and failing) at sharing their body heat because the heater in the studio is broken. So they make it a habit; at the end of the shows to thank everyone for attending, for supporting their music and supporting their dreams.</p><p>But Australia, in particular, is unmistakably his favourite country to perform in. Perhaps its because its thrilling to perform in the country that he left all those years ago, it's because it's his way of looking  at all those people who doubted him; right in the eye ,and saying " you were wrong, all of you were, I AM getting somewhere"</p><p>So he smiles particularly brightly at the crowd; even during their more serious songs, even during their darker songs, even during their sexier songs; he smiles. At some point, Jisung and Changbin start smiling too, amused and happy but chan is straight-up grinning and can't find it in himself to stop.</p><p>Somewhere in the crowd, Yongbok watches Chris smiling his way through the entire concert and finds himself smiling too.</p><p>5 years later Felix sits across the room from chan, in the precious studio he's seen multiple times in lives and reality series, his memory of the place is a little bit hazy and feels like nostalgia even though it's officially the first time he's been in here.</p><p>He sits there overwhelmed as the members work to complete the first step of their upcoming album. Still, Felix tries to make himself helpful without getting in anyone's way. Working as a producer for the biggest groups of kpop was one thing; working as a producer for the group that happens to be the entire reason you work in the field and helped you realize your love for music; entirely another.</p><p>So Felix sits there uneasy as he steps into their studio; usually, Felix works exclusively in his studio yet when the members requested that they work in theirs because "its the environment we work best in", he finds himself unable to refuse. Also, the email he gets regarding this is barely news; Felix knows, he knows they prefer to work in their "coven".</p><p>So far working with 3RACHA had been extremely nice, they mostly communicated over (slightly informal) emails with a sample attached at the end, and Felix was genuinely enjoying working with them, they were meticulous and detailed and most importantly appreciative of Felix's work.</p><p>But now that Felix sat there awkwardly until Jisung slides next to him and strikes up a conversation. Jisung is funny, and Felix's age, and also Felix assumes that Jisung was the one he's been talking to all these days; if the cute emojis he used were anything to go by.</p><p>He giggles with Jisung for a while until Changbin slides into the recording booth and clears his throat. That's when Felix producer mode takes over, he works on recording and key points. Changbins rap has got English phrases that changbin doesn't pronounce right for which Felix has to slip into his deeper English voice to teach but Changbin catches on fast and his flow is all around impeccable so they end quite fast.</p><p>Jisung goes next, he jokes around for a bit before he gets in the zone, and amplifies Felix's vision. They go over things over and over again, perfecting every syllable Jisung raps and every note he sings. By the time they end Jisungs recording its already dark out.<br/>
Changbin drags a very sleepy Jisung home, who swears that if he doesn't reach his bed in the next ten minutes he'll collapse.</p><p>And just like that Felix is left alone with chan, chan who's wearing a baggy hoodie, chan who looks like the epitome of softness, chan who is currently giving Felix minor heart attacks.</p><p>Not many words are said, and chan just instinctively slips into the booth, warms up his vocals and then just goes for it. Felix had imagined how his song would sound when chan would sing on it; many times in fact; yet, no amount of imagination could prepare Felix for the real thing.</p><p>Chan sounds mesmerising, and for a moment all Felix can do is stare, hand still on the record button; completely enamoured by chan.<br/>
They end even faster ( unfortunately) and with a few cordial words both set off, and all the way home felix has a small skip in his steps and a huge grin on his face.</p><p>They continue working together, and Felix gets acquainted with the way they work, that also means Felix gets acquainted with Jisungs loud laughter and Changbins corny sense of humour, which is great. But it also means Felix gets acquainted with chan looking like a soft puppy most of the time (which his heart can't handle; but they don't talk about that.)</p><p>Most of the time, working with 3RACHA doesn't even feel like work, it feels like the passion projects Felix would conduct way back in college; soon enough the pressure of working with his idols wears off, they're acquaintances, he would even go as far as calling Jisung a friend. The studio they work at is a chill-laid back environment which doesn't take much to warm up to.</p><p>Felix gets so used to seeing the wholesome behind the scenes content, that he almost forgets that these are world-renowned artists with millions of awards to their name.</p><p>Every once in awhile Felix will watch a music video or a music stage and get shocked because these MEN in leather and bondage-inspired stage outfits are the same sweet boys he sees every night. But he gets acquainted with that too; the duality. (Felix's heart DEFINITELY can't take chan in his stage outfits but they don't talk about that either)</p><p>Felix gets closer to all of them, which by extension means he gets closer to chan too, not that it was worth pointing out or anything; yeah, completely casual.</p><p>Changbin once complains about how Felix's name is too hard to pronounce and then onwards he's lix, or pixie, or little one.</p><p>Soon they start consulting him on solo projects too, which they don't have much of. Mostly singles and B-sides, but they're meticulous with it; all the same, and all sorts of lovely and passionate so Felix HAS to agree. (well, he doesn't HAVE to, but Felix feels inclined to and he genuinely enjoys their company so its really a no brainer there, plus the bonus he gets for it is also a nice incentive )</p><p>That means increased alone time with the members, which by extension means alone time with chan too, not that it was worth pointing out or anything; yeah, completely casual.</p><p>Sure. he's comfortable with all the members at this point but there's something different with chan, maybe he's just being his slightly delusional fanboy self, but Chan switches to English and uses Aussie slang with Felix too much for it to be nothing.</p><p>Changbin and Jisung get their one-on-ones done fairly quickly, during the afternoon or early evenings, but chan stays late, they work well into the night and leave at wee hours of the morning.</p><p>Felix also notices that with chan, they get off track a decent amount. Not enough to be considered unprofessional but enough for Felix to find out little details about Chan. Enough for Felix to somehow fall for chan even more ( it isn't possible- it shouldn't be possible for anyone to like anyone as much as Felix like chan, it really shouldn't)</p><p>However, Felix is a chronic realist, and an avid overthinker, so he figures he's reading into it way too much, and setting himself up for heart break in doing so, so without any other choice he lets it go- the feelings and the stolen glances.</p><p>He accepts that all he and chan are ever going to be are friendly coworkers and decides he needs to move on; with life (not like there was a relationship for him to move on from in the first place, he just needs to move on from his own feelings)</p><p>Yet, when chan shows him his plans for the single, with a soft precious little smile , Felix decides that maybe he could continue being delusional a little while longer.</p><p>Felix stands in front of his wardrobe and gapes. Since when were his clothes boring? Sure Felix practically lives in large sweaters and oversized t-shirts and sure most of his closet looks like one of a modest teenage girl. But it isn't like he's ever had any issues with his sense of style. Except now-</p><p>The root cause of his dilemma is the new strategy JYP takes up. A party for all its employees, something about team building and bonding experiences( secretly Felix knows that it was just another excuse for Mr Park to throw another one of his extravagant parties) yet he can't help be excited for the same.</p><p>Until he realises that to go to a cool, fancy party with your cool, fancy coworkers you need a cool, fancy outfit. Which at the moment Felix just can't seem to locate.</p><p>(secretly Felix knows the only reason he wants to look good is because of the slight possibility that chan might be there, but he doesn't admit it to himself just yet; that's a problem for rational Felix to figure out in due course)</p><p>It takes Felix two hours and approximately 3.5 phone calls with his fashionable friend Hyunjin for him to decide on what Hyunjin calls "the fittest fit to ever fit". It is a little basic; sure but what knocks it out of the park is the way it fits. Anyways it takes him about another hour to shower and do the most amount of makeup and hair he could without being late. </p><p>Felix arrives right on time to find the club mostly empty; he should have figured, this was only a casual thing anyway but Felix likes to be on time. </p><p>One would think being at the venue early with only a few people and mostly silence is way better than the clumsy chaos of what the party is going to come to, but no its worse. There's absolutely no one to talk to, not one person and the silence feels overbearing, like the calm before some mighty revelation that never actually comes.</p><p>You'd imagine Felix's relief when Eric walks through the door. Here's what one must know about Eric. He's the life of the party well rather he IS the party. wherever he goes the party follows. That's exactly what happens as he walks into the club, the room suddenly comes up with life. </p><p>Eric takes a round of the room casually making small talk with coworkers; picks up a drink and heads straight to the back where Felix lounges.</p><p> "Dude should've known you'd be here already, you're the type to never be late," he says while he leans back into the couch taking a sip of his drink looking like he belongs in some sort of movie still.</p><p>"What does that mean?" Felix laughs out, faking offence.</p><p>They continue talking and Felix feels a little warm in his chest, Eric is one of those people- people who are so warm and comfortable they could get you to spill all your secrets within 30 minutes of conversation. They laugh and talk until Felix accidentally spills he's not much of a crowd person. ( He also might've accidentally let it slip that this was his first party, like EVER and that he was just a teensy bit nervous) Weirdly, eric doesn't tease him for it, just coos and promises hed to make sure to stick by Felix's side and make sure he has a fun time.</p><p>Throughout the conversation, though he keeps an eye on the door, keeps an eye out for a messy mop of blonde hair. But he never comes; chan doesn't show up. On realizing this Felix slumps further into his seat which makes eric ask him what's up. Once again eric doesn't tease he simply smiles charmingly, consoles him and then pulls him to the dance floor to make himself feel better.</p><p>Dancing is fun, they're not even dancing sensually, the DJs not even playing sexy music, just generic catchy pop songs that everyone knows the lyrics to. It's fun there's a lot of jumping and belting the lyrics sloppily involved but also lots of laughs and silly faces. Its fun, but also tiring. Felix dances till his feet are sore and he needs a time out. The entire ordeal feels like a coming of age movie- and Felix feels like he's floating. He's tired but so- so awake- giddy. As if he is in high school again. As if he has some sort of crush- on a situation. If that makes any sense at all.</p><p>He ducks into an empty room expecting some sort of gross couple that would be to involved in themselves to notice him and instead finds Chan. Chan-whose looking directly at him. Felix can't figure out the look on his face but he can appreciate the look he has on. He looks so good, it takes a minute for Felix to lose his smile and read the room. Right, yes, back to the look. </p><p>"Hey, what's wrong?" he whispers, too scared to raise his voice, chan seems troubled.<br/>"Nothing, absolutely nothing" he answers except he trips on-air and the last two words come out as mumbles.<br/>Felix reaches out to catch is arm but chan pulls away. there's a wobble to his step.</p><p>"Chan, are you- are you drunk?"<br/>"Maybe I am, so what? I'm an adult, I can drink what's-" Felix doesn't catch the rest of whatever he says.</p><p>It takes a hot minute for Felix to realise that he should probably get chan home; somehow. For that, he needs to find someone, jisung or changbin, whoever he finds. So grabs chan by his bicep softly, and helps him into the main room. </p><p>The main room is stuffed at this point and chan stumbles closer into Felix hold. The entire way he mumbles incoherent nonsense that Felix finds vaguely amusing. At some point though he twists himself to face Felix completely and stares deep into his eyes. </p><p>"He's drunk". Felix tells himself. He's drunk, he's drunk, he's drunk, he's drunk"- he tells himself. Like a mantra. So he continues walking, sure this means that chans basically walking backwards while clutching both of his forearms because he refuses to let go of Felix- but Felix doesn't stop. He needs to find jisung or changbin- anybody who'd get chan to stop looking at Felix the way he is currently.</p><p>He spots jisung in the middle of the crowd and jisung; bless his soul- makes his way over to Felix the moment they make eye contact.<br/>When jisung pulls chan away chan whines and holds onto Felix's hands. </p><p> </p><p>Its paralysing and heat immediately rushes into Felix's cheeks. Chan points out his burning red cheeks and kisses them. KISSES.THEM. all while giggling. He barely notices Jisung pulling him away, he's too caught up in his thoughts. It's way too much for his weak, weak heart to handle. </p><p>Felix stays planted in that spot for about half an hour; a million thoughts running through his head. "He's drunk," he thinks "it didn't mean anything to him" "he was drunk, I did the responsible thing to do, right?" "he kissed me; on the cheek, but he did. "</p><p>Suddenly the party is too loud, too stuffy, too crowded. He thinks he can't even hear himself think.  He needs to get home, and not think about the proceedings of the night. A nap would do him some good, maybe some tea. And immediately books a cab back to his dingy one-bedroom apartment.</p><p>When he gets home he doesn't think- at all. thinking is a problem for sober and sombre Felix. He's too unhinged to think normally right now. It seems he doesn't have much of a window for thinking at all actually since the moment his head hits the pillow he falls into a deep unceremonious sleep.</p><p>He spends the weekend feeling like a corpse. Like he's only a useless shell of a human who is incapable of doing anything other than lounging around the house staring into space and napping. For the sake of being slightly productive however Felix binges a Netflix series, he was watching.</p><p>Monday comes way too early and his bed seems way to inviting. The early hours seem irritating and showering seems like a herculean task. Somehow though he makes it to the JYP building in time.</p><p>He spends the entire day finishing up minuscule tasks dreading the recording session he has with 3RACHA. But of course, time continues doing what time does and soon enough he makes up the courage to walk over to their studio.</p><p>Their session turns out to be unbelievably awkward. There's no other way to describe it. It seems that the two other members hed caught on to whatever beyond awkward aura they were emitting and resort to staring at Felix fidgeting in his seat. This proves to be incredibly weird for Felix. He's sitting in a tight space with two people who refuse to look away from him and one person he refuses to look at him. But amidst it, all Felix rationalises that he's still and professional and refuses to have a dysfunctional recording session so close to the release of their album. </p><p>There is simply too much to complete and not enough time in the first place and he will not allow a wasted recording session. Not under his watch. No sir. So Felix springs into a leadership role he has never undertaken in the past.</p><p>Usually, Felix goes with whatever the members feel like. They go with the flow and record bits and pieces which Felix later pieces into the song on this system. </p><p>Today he tells them exactly what to do. What their flow should be and exactly what they're aiming to record. The environment isn't the most amicable to work in but it is extremely productive. They complete two entire tracks.</p><p>Throughout the session, he settles for half ignoring chans presence until it is his turn to record. Even then he makes sure to only limit their interactions to professional remarks. It's beyond awkward and Felix feels his heart fall when he catches chan pout because Felix refuses to acknowledge his presence but he trudges forward. </p><p>After their recording Felix positively nyooms out of the studio into his, he scarfs down his lunch and immediately gets started on his side assignment. The project is regarding a Christmas album for a subunit he's not particularly familiar with. He plans on having a rough draft of the tracks and their general vibe. and he does just that until there's the softest knock on his door.</p><p>It's Chan. Oh, fuck its chan.</p><p>"Hey, I'm sorry to disturb you, but I spent the entire weekend developing some ideas for tracks and I was hoping you could look over them.''</p><p>This is bad. So, so bad. Chan feels closed off and awkward. Like the months of friendship they'd built up was pushed out a window. All because of a stupid drunken- whatever that was. </p><p>"Yeah! Yeah, I can take a look! did you bring me a sample?"Felix says a little too enthusiastically. </p><p>"I- no. I don't have a sample. I just- I don't know why I came. I just wanted to see you and this seemed like-. Not that I lied. I did spend the weekend developing ideas but I'm not- not ready for you to see them yet. I just- you seem busy. I'll go."</p><p>Felix gapes at chan; confused. It takes a moment to register that chan isn't always beautifully eloquent in his words and is as much of a mess that Felix is. He only half understands the words, and chan is already heading for the door; head hung low and ears blazing red.</p><p>Felix HAS to say something. He can't just let chan go just like that. Sure he has no clue what that rant was about and sure he has no clue how to respond but he needs to say something; anything. When the stupidly gorgeous boy you've been hardcore crushing on since forever visits you for no apparent reason, you don't just let them go, no sir.  So he blurts out; without thinking, "Chan wait!"</p><p>Chan turns around melodramatically like he's a dashing male lead of some high rated k drama. And Felix panics, he didn't think this through.</p><p>"I just wanted to- um apologize?"</p><p>"apologize? for...?" Chan looks like a confused puppy, it's adorable and Felix thinks that he will need to take a moment to squeal over this once chan leaves.</p><p>"Apologize for what happened on Friday, i- I'm sorry."</p><p>Chan looks even more confused, it's a cute look. Felix musses."I don't remember what you're apologizing for."</p><p>To be completely honest Felix doesn't know either, all he wanted to do was to somehow stop chan from leaving and continue the conversation. Its stupid and childish and something a high school student would do but apparently, Felix loses all his senses around chan.</p><p>"What DO you remember?" Felix asks, unsure of where this conversation seems to be heading.</p><p>"I remember getting to the party and seeing you. You were just sitting at the back but I remember thinking that you looked beautiful. I remember wanting to come up to you but being too much of a coward to actually do it. I remember you getting up to dance and actually seeing your outfit. I remember I thought if I died right then and there I could die happy. I remember how ethereal you looked as you danced, but you were dancing with eric. That's when the night really went to shit for me. I remember the smile on your face when you danced, as anyone told you you're an amazing dancer? I hope that you are. Then you stopped dancing and found me; somehow. You were still smiling, you know. Beautifully. And I remember thinking that I could never make you that happy. I remember embracing you and kissing your cheek at some point, I remember thinking id never have the guts to do that sober. I- remember it all; lix. So I don't really get what you're apologizing for, I was the one who got drunk and made it your business. But I'm happy for you, Congratulations" </p><p>Although chan looks sad there is no hint of malice in the way he says "congratulations" he genuinely means it. Felix's heart leaps.</p><p>"Chan, me and Eric; there's nothing there, I've been WAY too occupied pining after this one Australian guy I know, do you know where I can find him? so I can officially ask him on a date."</p><p>Chan smiles so incredibly brightly " I might know where he is, but for that information, you'd need to go out to dinner with me first."</p><p>Felix doesn't answer, he just steps into chans space and hugs him tightly, it's perfect. Chan, he's perfect.</p><p>"God! We're such idiots , huh?" </p><p>Felix has to look up from chans neck to see the blinding smile on his face, and then smiles back, "yeah, we are."</p>
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